Though the children are being taught to abstain, and Ruth laments finding herself in the position of an abstinence teacther, the real abstinence in question is being practiced by Ruth and Tim. Ruth, as we are reminded ad nauseam, is a forty-plus divorcee who hasn't had sex in two years. Tim is a recovering addict who found his way out of a serious drug and alcohol addiction through Jesus. These are the defining aspects of these characters, driving all of their decisions and interactions, and it is their abstinence, or the examination of their life in abstention, that teaches Ruth and Tim their most important lessons.
The Abstinence Teacher initially sets up a potential conflict between Ruth's sex education class and her belief system against the born-again church values and Tim's imposition of his religion on the youth soccer team he coaches (Ruth's daughter, Maggie, is one of his best players). This, however, is shadow play, yet again. The soccer team and the religious conflict bring these two characters together and loosely carry the story along, but there is no real conflict in this novel. Instead, Perrotta presents an interesting and heartfelt character study, a study of abstinence in a multitude of meanings, and through that examination, we also find indulgence to be as complex.
The lack of a true driving conflict gives this novel the feeling of a meandering journey through the lives of two suburban parents, each sorting through a different set of baggage. Once a reader stops looking for a more classic beefed up plot, The Abstinence Teacher is a pleasant, thought provoking read which keeps you largely in suspense as to its predictable foregone conclusion. This novel is not brilliant, but only because it is not heavy handed and the shadows are light and approachable. It is engaging and accessible, and though Ruth and Tim have very specific challenges to face and process, they too are light and approachable, which makes sharing their journey worthwhile.
Last night, I had an eating epiphany. I was trying to use up the fresh vegetables and pork medallions in the fridge because I'll be out of town for a few days. I threw together a healthy (relatively...), tasty meal and found that because of my conscientious shopping habits over the past week or two. Here's what we ate:
Berkshire pork medallions smothered in garden fresh (my terrace garden!) sage and rosemary as well as locally grown green garlic cooked in organic extra virgin olive oil and a bit of white wine, salt and pepper
Locally grown asparagus dotted with butter and balsamic vinegar, roasted and then sprinkled with fresh Parmesan
Mache and radish salad, both ingredients locally grown with homemade vinaigrette
The staples that I have at home are not all organic or local, so the white wine, salt, pepper, butter, vinegar and Parmesan were not completely in line with my focus on eating fresh, local and/or organic whenever possible. This will change as I make sure to stock only pantry items that fit in (as much as I can find them).
It was such an aha! moment when dinner was wrapping up and I'd realized that by making the right choices about shopping, I could very quickly and easily make the right choices about eating. Now about those M&Ms that I had for dessert....
...but I won't.
Well, that's not how the song goes, but I've been taking the pup for evening walks every so often instead of my usual morning duty, and you really can fall in love with a skyline at twilight. It really doesn't matter if it's New Jersey or Manhattan or Dubai or Des Moines. I am remembering what a peaceful time dusk is and it really makes me appreciate these longer days and the warmer weather. That, today, is what I am thankful for.
This month, TheKitchn.com, one of my favorite blogs, is doing The Kitchen Cure, an 8 week kitchen makeover-of-sorts, based off of Apartment Therapy's Eight Step Home Cure. I really need to do a full cure, which is going on over at apartmenttherapy.com, but my kitchen is my current disaster area and it really is where I spend most of time and disorder there is one of the main sources of my household anxiety.
The first step was to go through the pantry and purge old, unhealthy, undesirable food items. I actually purged quite a bit which made me quite pleased. I had thought that I was pretty on top of things, but my pantry cupboards are narrow and deep, hiding all sorts of surprises.
Now that I've cleared out the old stuff, I plan on making a list of what I have in there so that I know what is on hand for quick meals and have a better idea of how to re-stock. I'm not 100% sure on how I want to do that. Paper lists seem to make clutter and become messy. Electronic lists aren't always convenient. I may default to google docs to keep a pantry list since at least it can be accessible by any computer. After that, I'll need a real organization solution for the cupboards. But, my friends, baby steps!
In addition to not starting, I also waste a lot of time. It actually seems like this might be a separate problem. At any given time, I have to choose to work on a project (even a fun labor-of-love project) rather than waste time watching television or napping or laying about the house. That may be the biggest struggle, but I'm committed.
I've come up with a list (see the sidebar on the left - your left) of things that I'd like to accomplish for myself. Some are rather lofty and general like live more passionately and some are pretty concrete like visiting all 50 states. It's a bit overwhelming to think that there are 19 things that I should work on at any given time, but they are all good positive things and I'm certainly allowing myself to take baby steps.
The easiest to focus on right now include cooking and reading. I'm tackling both by looking through Think Like a Chef by Tom Colicchio. I'm just in the first chapter on roasting and I'm thinking of roasting a chicken one of these nights, just to try out his recipe. I've tried a few and they've been tasty, but getting the perfect roast chicken is one of those feats that a food/cooking-lover is supposed to master, right? I'm also reading My Life in France by Julia Child and Alex Prud'Homme, and Julia's enthusiasm for mastering the perfect roast chicken is certainly contagious. The Barefoot Contessa also has one that uses something like 20 cloves of garlic, which I'll have to try someday, but for now, I'm going to try and master roasting Tom Colicchio's way.
I am currently in the process of letting a friendship fade away. It happens. It's not even that sad most of the time. When it is, usually the friendship pops back up along the way and that's happy. And usually, almost all of the time, it works.
Except this time. I have been trying to let this person just fade and fade and fade and still this person pops up fairly regularly with half-assed passive aggressive attempts at "catching up." I don't want to catch up. I'm not interested. I burned out on years of your neuroticism and selfish selflessness and unbridled neediness. Now, you fade away. Keep the memories. Keep the laughs. Those were nice.
And I'm not nice for saying this. This is why I even care enough to write this out. I've been writing it out for a few days. Some in my head, and some real concrete writing. I have come to the conclusion that I have forgiven myself for cutting off a friend who isn't ready to be let go. Now, I need to let go the bad feelings that come from not being nice. Sometimes, nice doesn't work. Unloading all of my feelings about burnout and selfishness and suffocation would be even less nice, I think. And so I suffer myself just a bit until I can finally learn to let it go. It's okay to not be interested anymore. It happens.
Happy Earth Day! What are some of your favorite ways to reduce, reuse and recycle?
1. Reuse juice bottles for homemade ice tea and other drinks.
2. Take out containers in place of tupperware.
3. Old unmatched socks become hand dusters.
4. Newspapers wrap delicates for moving or storage.
Audio: Congrats, you're the radio DJ! What six songs are in your first on-air set?
Submitted by LeendaDLL.
Rilo Kiley, Portions for Foxes
Tegan & Sara, Where Does The Good Go?
Belle & Sebastian, If She Wants Me
Delays, Long Time Coming
Death Cab for Cutie, Marching Bands of Manhattan
Psychedelic Furs, Into You Like A Train
Have you ever had plastic or elective surgery? Did you tell anyone? Why or why not?
Submitted by Beth Punches.
All natural, baby!
on Lost in a Good Book (Thursday Next Novels (Penguin Books))